Best Cell Phones

There are in nature neither rewards nor punishments, there are consequences.
Author: Robert Ingersoll

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Author: Phyllis Diller

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Author: Woody Allen

There can be as much value in the blink of an eye as in months of rational analysis.
Author: Malcolm Gladwell

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Author: Henry Kissinger

Q: Why are violas so large? A: It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so small.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How is lightning like a violist's fingers? A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together. "Help!" cried the cellist, "I can't swim!" "Don't worry," said the violist, "just fake it."
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola? A: A viola burns longer.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek? A: Because no one will look for them.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes