Best Cell Phones

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.
Author: Desiderius Erasmus

I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, there's morning sickness. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to acheive that state the old fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
Author: Doug Larson

The tendinous part of the mind, so to speak, is more developed in winter; the fleshy, in summer. I should say winter had given the bone and sinew to literature, summer the tissues and the blood.
Author: John Burroughs

Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.
Author: Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Two ladies were hanging out together and one was depressed. "What's wrong?" The depressed one replied, "I've been married four times and everyone of my husbands has passed away." The other lady asked, "What did they used to do?" The depressed lady replied, "Well, my first husband was a millionaire, the second was a magician, the third was an evangelist, and the fourth was a mortician." And the other said, "Oh, one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes