Best Cell Phones
Search results
BenQ-Siemens CF61
BenQ-Siemens C81
BenQ-Siemens AL26
BenQ-Siemens A58
Pages: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63]
Best quotes to send by SMS
Oh! too convincing - dangerously dear - In woman's eye the unanswerable tear!Author: Lord Byron
If you done it, it ain't bragging.Author: Walt Whitman
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.Author: Joe Gores
I'm a bit of an abstract figure that people can project their fantasies on; it's pretty much what we all are, otherwise we wouldn't be stars, and people wouldn't be interested. But people project things on you that have nothing to do with what you reallyAuthor: Salma Hayek
On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.Author: George Orwell
The best jokes to send by SMS
On the first day
of college, the Dean
addressed the
students, pointing out some of the rules, saying,
"The
female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male
students, and the
male dormitory to the female students.
Anyone caught breaking this
rule once will be fined $50."
He continued, "Anyone caught
breaking this rule a second
time will be fined $150. Being caught a third
time will
incur a hefty fine of $400. Are there any
questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How
much
for a season pass?"This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes
One day a teacher was asking her class to use
absolutely in
a sentence.
So Janet raised her hand and said the
sky is absolutely blue,
the teacher said no, it is not, sometimes is
black or has different
colors.
Another little boy raised his
hand and said
"the leaves on the trees are absolutely green" the
teacher said no,
they could be different colors at different times of
the year.
Little Johnny raised his hand and asked if there where
lumps in farts,
the teachers said no, I don't believe so.
And
Little Johnny said,
" well then I absolutely just shit in my
pants!!!!"This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes
Because of a bad case of hemorrhoids, a gay
bottom goes to his
doctor. The
physician prescribes suppositories,
but when it comes time to use them
the young
man is afraid he
will do it wrong. So he goes into the bathroom and
bends over
and
looks through his legs into the mirror to line up the target. All
of
a
sudden, his penis becomes stiff, blocking his view.
"Oh,
stop it," the young man scolds his organ, "it's only
me."This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes
Once upon a time, a guy was
sitting at a
bar.
He was throwing money around, giving the barman hundred dollar
tips and
buying drinks for everyone. He was surrounded by a crowd of
adoring
women.
The barman liked the tips, but he was kind of
curious about a little
man that
would jump from the rich guy's
pocket.
The little man would run up and down the bar,
kicking
over the bowls of peanuts and giving people the finger.
Then the
little guy would jump back into the man's jacket for a while.
The
barman went over and asked the guy what was up.
So the rich guy says,
"Well, let me tell you a little story.
I was walking along a beach one
day, and I come across this lamp.
I rub it, and a genie popped out.
I got three wishes, so my first wish
was to be fabulously wealthy.
Then I wished for a harem. You can see I got both."
The barman
asks, "So what about that little guy in your jacket?"
"Oh, tha
t," mumbles the rich guy. "That's the twelve-inch prick I
wished
for."This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes
A husband and wife love to golf together, but
neither of
them are playing
like they want to, so they decide to
take private lessons.The husband
has
his lesson first. After the
pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no,
no,"
you're gripping the
club way too hard!" "Well, what should
I do?" asks the man. "Hold
the club gently," the pro replied, "just
like
you'd hold your
wife's breast."The man takes the advice, takes a
swing, and
WOW! He hits the ball 250 yds. straight up the fairway.The man goes
back
to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her
lesson.The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches
her
swing and
says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way
too hard." "What
can I do?"
asks the wife."Hold the club gently,
just like you'd hold your
husband's penis." The wife listens
carefully to the pro's advice,
takes a swing,
and THUMP. The
ball goes straight down the fairway . . . about 15 ft.
"That was
great,"the pro says. "Now, take the club out of your mouth
and
swing the club like you're supposed to!" says the pro.This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes