Best Cell Phones

My name is Legion.
Author: Bible

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.
Author: Jean Rostand

My punishment is greater than I can bear
Author: Bible

Keep cool and you command everybody.
Author: Louis de Saint-Just

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield

Policeman: Why have you parked your bus here? Bus Driver: The sign says "Bus Stop."
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Policeman: Why were you speeding? Motorist: I was trying to get away from the crime scene.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

"Where's the car?" asked Professor Delbert's wife when he got home. "Did I take it out?" "Yes, you drove it to school this morning." "I suppose you're right, my dear. I remember now that after I got out, I turned to thank the man who gave me a lift and wondered where he'd gone."
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Did you ever see a country boy in New York whistle for a cab? He puts two fingers in his mouth and hollers, "Taxi!"
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, -Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?- -Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long.-
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes