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I am a Millionaire. That is my religion.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
Author: J. Paul Getty

Oh, what a dear ravishing thing is the beginning of an Amour!
Author: Aphra Behn

On a lazy Saturday morning when you're lying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, there is a space where fantasy and reality become one. Are you awake, or are you dreaming? You see people and things; some are familiar; some are strange. You talk, you fee
Author: Lynn Johnston

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
Author: Martin Luther King Jr.

Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it? Elf-raising flour, of course.
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called? A subordinate claus.
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid.
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her mother couldn't buy a kitten and parcel it up for Christmas Day, so she bought it a week before Christmas and gave it to the little girl. 'You're getting your Christmas present a week early this year,' her mother explained as she handed over the fluffy little tabby kitten. 'Is that what you want?' The little girl said, 'It's wonderful, mother...just what I wanted. There's just one thing wrong!' 'What's that?' her mother asked. 'Well, it has a cute little claw on the outside of every paw and another little claw on the inside of every paw - but the poor little thing has no claws at all in the middle of its paws!' Her mother smiled. 'Don't worry, Kitty. When you wake up on Christmas morning you'll find the claws are there.' Now Kitty loved her kitten dearly, but she worrie d about the claws in the middle of its paws. The days passed and there wasn't even a hint, a clue or an inkling of claws in the middle of its paws. When Christmas Eve arrived and there was still no sign, Kitty went to her mother and asked again, 'Are you absolutely sure that the kitten will have its middle claws tomorrow? There's only a few hours to go and there's not a hint or clue or an inkling as to claws as far as I can see.' 'Wait till you wake up on Christmas morning,' her mother smiled and went on stuffing the turkey. So Kitty went to sleep a worried girl. When she woke up on Christmas morning she ignored the presents in her stocking and rushed downstairs to look at her little kitten. She was astounded, amazed and just a little surprised to see that her kitten had four claws on every paw! The middle ones had appeared as if by magic. Kitty rushed to her parent's bedroom. 'Mummy , Mummy! The kitten has grown its middle claws!' 'Of course it has,' her mother grinned. 'But how did you know?' Kitty demanded. Her father rolled over sleepily and sighed, 'Oh, Kitty, everybody knows that Centre-claws always comes at Christmas!'
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes