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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Author: Woody Allen

How many ages hence Shall this our lofty scene be acted over In states unborn and accents yet unknown!
Author: William Shakespeare

How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees.
Author: William Shakespeare

How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself.
Author: Publilius Syrus

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
Author: P. J. O Rourke

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Q: Why do men float better than women? A: Because they are scum.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Men are like chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Men are like department stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes