Best Cell Phones

Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.
Author: Samuel Johnson

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
Author: Oscar Wilde

If you enjoy the fruit, pluck not the flower.
Author: Anonymous

In the multitude of counsellors there is safety.
Author: Bible

You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an inner exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world.
Author: Sheila Graham

What did you get for your birthday? Another year!
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday? GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes

It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit. He explained "I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. I've been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years." "How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?" we asked. "It's simple" he said. "When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made solemn pledge on our wedding night. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take long walk."
This is the joke from a category: Birthday jokes