Best Cell Phones

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.
Author: Dwight D. Eisenhower

I cannot endure to waste anything as precious as autumn sunshine by staying in the house. So I spend almost all the daylight hours in the open air.
Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne

I cannot pretend to feel impartial about colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.
Author: Sir Winston Churchill

I can't be a rose in any man's lapel.
Author: Margaret Trudeau

"I'll have to report you, sir," said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. "You were doing 85 miles an hour." "Nonsense, officer," declared the driver. "I've only been in the car for ten minutes."
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

Police Chief: Why are you putting handcuffs on that building? Officer: I'm making a house arrest
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

Veronica was practicing the piano when suddenly there was a loud pounding on the front door. She opened it and found a breathless cop. "What's the matter?!" she asked. "Where's the body?!" demanded the officer. "What are you talking about?" "We just got a tip that some guy named Mozart was being murdered in this house."
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
This is the joke from a category: Rabbit jokes

How do you know when you're eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
This is the joke from a category: Rabbit jokes