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If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordan
Author: Bertrand Russell

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
Author: Dorothy Parker

I call a fig a fig, a spade a spade.
Author: Menander

If for a tranquil mind you seek, These things observe with care: Of whom you speak, to whom you speak, And how, and when and where.
Author: Anonymous

If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
Author: Jewish Proverb

An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter, "How do you feel?" "How would you feel," the astronout replied, "if you were stuck here, on top of 20,000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"
This is the joke from a category: Space jokes

Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course and watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass, mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the sand bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit a perfect hole in one, then the first alien said to the second, "Uh-oh cover your ears he's going to be really mad now"!
This is the joke from a category: Space jokes

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games? So that they can pack the defence!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom? Captain: Well, it could have been worse. Manager: How? Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes