Best Cell Phones

Before you act consider; when you have considered, tis fully time to act.
Author: Sallust

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
Author: Confucius

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. Your life will never be the same again.
Author: Og Mandino

Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world!
Author: Bible

Behold, now is the accepted time,
Author: Bible

It was Rocky's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells and he was trying to become a bit more comfortable with his meager surroundings. As he leaned against the bars at the front of his cell, Rocky heard a voice call out "44" and the whole cell block erupted into laughter! Another voice called "16" and again there was laughter. A third voice called "62" which was followed by laughter throughout the block. Rocky didn't know what was going on so he rapped on his cell wall. "Yeah, whaddaya want?" came the gruff reply from next door. "What's going on, here?" asked Rocky. "Well," said the other inmate, "down in the prison library there's only one joke book. We've all read the book so many times that we don't waste time telling the joke, we just call out it's number." So the next day Rocky went down to the library and, sure enough, found r the yellowed, dog-eared joke book and read it from cover to cover. That night, wanting to be part of the group, Rocky confidently called out "44" and everyone laughed! He tried calling "16" and "62" and again there were peals of laughter. Then he called 57, and the halls rang with laughter. After several minutes, one prisoner was still rolling on the floor laughing. More minutes - still laughing. Rocky rapped on the cell wall. "Yeah, waddaya want?" asked the other inmate. "I don't understand it," asked Rocky, "Why is Bill still laughing?" "Well," said the gruff inmate, "He never heard that one before!"
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

What's another word for a murderer who kills old ladies? A Killergran.
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, "This is a muck up!" "Don't you mean a stick up?" asked the girl. "No," said the robber, "it's a muckup. I've forgotten my gun."
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark, sir.
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes

A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off. "Shall I run and get it for you?" asked the prisoner obligingly. "You must think I'm daft," said the officer. "You stand here and I'll get it."
This is the joke from a category: Criminal jokes