
The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf.
Author: Shakti Gawain
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
Author: Bill Cosby
The virtuous man is never a novice in worldly things.
Author: Marcus Valerius Martialis
The wages of sin are unreported.
Author: Unknown
The way to win an atomic war is to make certain it never starts.
Author: Omar Bradley

While practicing
auto-rotations during a
military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messes
up and lands
on its tail rotor.
The landing is so hard it breaks off the tail
boom. However, the
chopper fortunately remains upright on its
skids, sliding down the runway,
doing 360s.
As the Cobra slides
past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of
sparks, this radio
exchange takes place:
Tower: "Sir, do you need any
assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know, Tower, we ain't done crashin' yet."
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes
A solider stationed in the South Pacific
wrote to his wife in the
States to please send him a harmonica to
occupy his free time and keep
his mind off of the local women. The wife
complied and sent the best
one she could find, along with several
dozen lesson and music books.
Rotated back home, he rushed to
their home and through the front door.
"Oh darling" he gushed, "Come
here. Let me look at you. Let me hold
you! Let's have a fine dinner
out, then make love all night. I've
missed your lovin' so
much."
The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time lover.
First,
let's hear you play that harmonica."
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes
Officer: Soldier, do
you have change for
a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That's no way to
address an officer! Now let's try it again.
Soldier, do you have
change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, SIR!
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes
The Captain called the Sergeant in.
"Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday.
Better go tell him and send him in to see me."
So the
Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the
troops.
"Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the
mess hall
for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The
rest of
you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way,
Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day
the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey,
Sarge, that
was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died.
Couldn't
you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered the
Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in
again with,
"Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's
mother died. You'd
better go tell him and send him in to see me
. This time be more
tactful."
So the Sergeant calls for
his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and
listen up." "Everybody
with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not
so fast, McGrath!"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes
Following some duty overseas, the officers
at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the
unit.
Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds
from some
of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called
Vassar and
was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to
send over a
dozen of their most trustworthy students.
The
Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a
dozen or so of the other kind?"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes