Best Cell Phones
Best quotes to send by SMS
In a bureaucratic system, useless work drives out useful work.Author: Milton Friedman
No.Author: Amy Carter
When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.Author: Francois de La Rochefoucauld
When we conquer without danger our triumph is without glory.Author: Pierre Corneille
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.Author: Mark Twain
The best jokes to send by SMS
Big Louie the
Torpedo was becoming
increasingly curious about one of the newer members of
his mob, Benny the
Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in
another part of
the country. During that time he had garnered quite a
reputation
for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man
available. He
was also considered quite eccentric, perhaps odd, in that for
the
last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket -
clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickname, Benny the
Rod).
When Benny arrived at Louie's office, the question was
put to him.
"So what's the story with you and this here gun of
yours, eh? Like,
are you scared or somethin' or you just want to
always be ready or
what?"
"Not scared ..." Benny growled,
"been doin' it dis way ever since
me sister-in-law's weddin' 'bout
ten ten years ago now".
"Oh yeah? ... so ...?"
"Wel
l, I used ta know her fiance at da time - a no good chisler. He
never even loved the goil so much ... but he made her happy and so I kept
me mouth shut about it", Benny explained.
Louie leaned in,
expecting the point of the matter.
"And since dat time I gotta do
it dis way".
"But WHY?!", Louie finally demanded?
"Well,
I was at da wedding", grumbled Benny, and I wasn't about to
say
nuttin' about it then, so now I gotta do like da preacher said
...
"Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Piece!"This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in
the
cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a
huge bear,
shot at it but only wounded it.
The enraged bear
charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started
running for the
cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the
bear was just
a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as
he
reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.
Too close
behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling
into the
cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his
friend
inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"This is the joke from a category: Hunting jokes
She's so stupid she thinks a shoplifter
is a very strong person who goes
round picking up shops.This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes
What do bees do if they want to use public
transport ?
Wait at a buzz stop !This is the joke from a category: Insect jokes
Do you want some help using the Internet,
son?
No thanks, Dad, I can muck it up all by myself.This is the joke from a category: Internet jokes