Best Cell Phones

Joel: That's the movies, Ed. Try reality. Ed: No thanks.
Author: Ellen Herman

Joy, temperance, and repose, Slam the door on the doctor's nose.
Author: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Judge thyself with the judgment of sincerity, and thou will judge others with the judgment of charity.
Author: John Mitchell Mason

Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the Universe.
Author: Kurt Vonnegut

Justice delayed is democracy denied.
Author: Robert F. Kennedy

I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didn't say whether it's a boy or girl. So I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.
This is the joke from a category: Baby jokes

Knock Knock Who's there ! Baby ! Baby who ? Baby love, my baby love.... !
This is the joke from a category: Baby jokes

A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in June," he said, "and left me $10,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "nothing!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A drunk is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober. He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, "You see that cat coming in the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, I'd see four!" The bartender looks, then pauses a moment. Finally he responds, "You're drunker than I thought!", taking the rest of the alcohol away, "That cat isn't coming in, it's going out!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!