Best Cell Phones

Today is the day in which to express your noblest qualities of mind and heart, to do at least one worthy thing which you have long postponed.
Author: Grenville Kleiser

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
Author: Walter Bagehot

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time, And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a po
Author: William Shakespeare

I have come to believe that giving and receiving are really the same. Giving and receiving - not giving and taking.
Author: Joyce Grenfell

Toward no crime have men shown themselves so cold-bloodedly cruel as in punishing differences of belief.
Author: James Russell Lowell

Customer: What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup? Waiter: Probably learning to read.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Customer: Why don't you have doggie bags? Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Diner: Waitress, the portions are getting smaller. Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the restaurant has been enlarged.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter: I'm sorry I spilled a glass of water on you. Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes