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Best quotes to send by SMS
Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third.Author: Knute Rockne
Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.Author: P. J. O Rourke
Duty is ours, results are God's.Author: John Quincy Adams
Each bird loves to hear himself sing.Author: Arapaho Proverb
Each generation will reap what the former generation has sown.Author: Chinese Proverb
The best jokes to send by SMS
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party
?
I don't know, I wasn't invited !This is the joke from a category: History jokes
What did King Arthur sleep with when he was
afraid of the dark?
A knight lightThis is the joke from a category: History jokes
Three men die in a car accident
Christmas Eve. They all find
themselves at the pearly gates waiting to
enter Heaven. On entering
they must present something relating or
associated with Christmas.
The first man searches his pocket, and
finds some Mistletoe, so he is
allowed in.
The second man
presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.
The third man pulls
out a pair of stockings.
Confused at this last gesture, St.
Peter asks, "How do these represent
Christmas?"
"They're
Carol's."This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes
Three
guys found themselves in
Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett,
they were a little
confused at their present situation, and they were
startled to see a
door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps
the ugliest
woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and you
could smell
her even over the Brimstone.
The voice of the Devil was heard,
"Brett, you have sinned! You are
condemned to spend the rest of
eternity in bed with this woman!" And
Brett was whisked through the door
by a group of lesser demons to his
torment.
This
understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped
when a second
door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of
womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in
thick
black hair,and flies circled her.
The voice of the Devil was
heard, "Carl, you have sinned! You are
condemned to spend the re
st of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Carl,
like Brett, was
whisked off.
Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and
feared the worst when
the third door opened. And as the door inched
open, he strained to see
the figure of ... Cindy Crawford.
Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in
the sight of this beautiful woman,
dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he
heard the voice of the Devil
saying:
"Cindy, you have sinned."This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes
President Clinton died and knocked at
the
Pearly Gates. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton".
"What bad things did you do on earth?"
Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana,
but you
shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale.
And I lied,
but I didn't commit perjury."
After several
moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, here's
the deal.
We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't
call it
'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period of time,
but we
won't call it 'eternity.' And don't 'abandon all hope' upon
entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze
over."This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes